Why some people drain you (and others don't)

I know.

There's that one person in your life who continually drains you.

They're annoying.

They say ridiculous stuff.

They can't seem to take a step back and see how irrational they're being.

Yup.

Been there.

You walk away from conversations with them feeling like you'd enjoy drop-kicking a small badger.

I spent years wishing they'd change. It only exhausted me.

It took me a long time to see the 'difficult' people in my life in a new way.

It's not actually them.

Wait, whut?

No.

It's the accumulated thinking I've layered onto them.

When that colleague interrupts you in a meeting, you don't just experience the interruption.

You experience a cascade of thoughts like these:

'They never respect my ideas.'

'They always do this.'

'They think they're more important than me.'

Then you feel the tension, the frustration, the resentment.

You literally feel the thought you just had. That's how it always works.

Truly seeing this felt like stepping into a new world.

That feeling of tightness in your chest isn't coming from them.

It's coming from your thinking about them.

But this isn't bad news. It's freeing.

We build mental representations of people over time.

'They're selfish.'

'They're difficult.'

'They never listen.'

We are layering a mesh of thoughts onto people, regardless of what they do (even if, yes, what they do is silly and thoughtless).

And when we do, we stop responding to the actual human in front of us.

We're literally interacting with a character we created in our own heads.

When I saw this clearly, something fundamental changed… and this is big:

I stopped needing people to behave differently for me to feel OK.

WOW.

You mean I get to relax around thingy, who's almost always annoying?

Yes, you can. Because now you see it's your thoughts that make you stressed, not them. Judgements become a source of interest to you rather than the final truth.

Watch over the coming days how you layer character personas onto people.

Others start becoming fascinating to you.

You feel more yourself.

And you might just find life to be a source of joy again.

This understanding - that your experience of people comes entirely from your thinking, not from them - is what the Untethered Mind course cements for you. This doesn't come from weak techniques or scripts.

This is done through a process that rewires how you see people.

What would life be like if others never grated on you so much?

Most people spend decades at the mercy of others' behaviour.

This understanding sets you free.

Get access here.

Alex