Why I gave up.

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Alex Mathers
July 19, 2025

Twelve years ago, I gave up.

I stopped trying to be liked by everyone.

Part of me felt I was being anti-social and unnecessarily cruel to people by thinking this way.

However, I realised that my efforts to avoid being disliked were the root of 99% of my struggles up to that point.

It all stemmed from avoiding the sting of someone looking at me disapprovingly. I hated it.

But this fear was a prison. I couldn’t live like that anymore.

So I gave up.

But it was a lot easier to give up this addiction to being liked when I internalised this one thing:

The biggest gift I can give to the world is NOT trying to please everyone.

Because what happens when I do?

I wear a mask. I am not the real me. I am shady and avoidant.

Masked people aren’t truly happy and contribute to a fake society.

Happy, authentic people propel society forward.

True expression like this has led to new innovations, happier families, confident children and a safer community.

The more evidence I found to support the idea that I DIDN’T need to be liked by everyone, the more I eased myself into my new reality.

Displeasing some people in my actions does not come from a bad place.

It comes from a place of love.

Because there will always be people who don’t like who you are fully expressed.

Let them disagree. It’s inevitable. That’s on them.

When I gave up trying to be liked by everyone, this happened:

By the way, my course, ‘Let Go of the S#it that Weakens You,’ is designed to show you exactly how to detach from the need to be liked.

If you ever feel suppressed, stifled or anxious in the face of what others might think, you don’t need to live like this any more.

The course guides you through a series of exercises that liberate you from the prison of needing to be liked. And it can be instant.

It shows you that it’s possible to be happy and authentic and self-loving without being an asshole.

Alex