When life feels brutal (but isn’t)

There was a day recently when a plan fell through.

It was something I was really hoping would work out.

I felt like I hadn’t done enough to make it work, beating myself up about it for hours.

I felt irritated and sad.

I turned on myself, asking things like:

‘Why aren’t you further along by now?’

‘How could I be that stupid to mess this one up?’

My momentum seemed to float out the window, and I spent half the day living like a bum with no future, sulking.

When you’re ambitious like I am… when you really, really care…and you expect a lot of yourself…

…It’s easy to mistake a passing cloud for a permanent storm.

When that mindset takes over, life starts to feel brutal.

But life isn’t brutal.

Our thoughts can be, though.

When I find a moment of clarity, I remember what I’ve been teaching for some years:

We don’t feel life.

We feel our thoughts about life.

We don’t feel ‘failure.’ We feel the thought of failure.

We don’t fail ‘rejection.’ We feel the thought of rejection.

So, here’s a quick exercise that’s helped me countless times.

I used it to centre myself recently and turn what was a terrible day into a more energised day.

Right now, pause.

Don’t do anything. Just follow your breath.

Gradually expand your awareness of your surroundings, like gently turning up the thermostat of all your senses.

Let any tension in your body be replaced by calm.

What do you notice?

Are there problems in this moment?

Fears?

Worries?

No future, no past.

No labels.

No judgement.

Just this.

And this… this is where you dissolve pain.

Because in presence, there cannot be any pain.

Presence is what an absence of self-critical thought looks and feels like.

You have access to this at any moment.

When you find this stillness, you will almost always be delivered a piece of insight that helps you take the next, wise step.

Like someone watching you and supporting you.

If this struck a chord with you and you know how much self-judgement has held you back…

My course, Untethered Mind is here to help.

It’s the course I needed twenty years ago when the world seemed a more oppressive place.

The course, which you can read and absorb in a single afternoon, guides you through various insights about the mind that will quickly rewire your relationship with your thoughts.

This isn’t about affirmations, or tactics that stop working after a day.

It’s shifting your understanding that does all the work, and sticks. It will show you how to live with more peace, creativity and energy.

This might be the most investment you make in yourself this year.

Have a look if it feels right for you here.

Speak soon,

Alex