The permission I couldn’t give myself

I spent my early twenties in jobs that looked sensible on paper but drained me.

I knew I wanted to build something of my own. Freelance design, maybe. Writing. Something where I controlled my time and my output.

But I couldn’t make that move without feeling weird about it and deciding against it.

It wasn’t that I lacked confidence entirely. I could hold a conversation. I could do good work. I wasn’t falling apart.

The piece I was missing was subtler than that. I didn’t respect myself enough, with genuine clarity, to prioritise what I actually wanted.

Every time I imagined quitting to go freelance, a voice would ask: Who do you think you are, buddy? The ‘secure’ path felt responsible. The path that honoured my own ambitions felt selfish, indulgent, and reckless.

I stayed stuck for a long time because I couldn’t give myself permission to put my own creative life first.

I realised this was an issue. I started saying no to things that drained me, protecting my energy without apologising, and treating my own plans like they mattered.

Much of this felt subtly painful, but I knew it was for the best.

Each small choice is built on the last. Gradually, my self-image updated. The permission I’d been waiting for from the outside world, I finally gave to myself.

That’s what led me to leave my 9-5 in London and embark on a decade-long career in freelance design and illustration.

I built this business from scratch with no formal qualifications, and it led to working with companies like Google and Mars.

It started with small habits that subtly shifted my identity.

An identity that made it possible.

I wrote a book about this called The Art of Self-Respect.

It’s for people who aren’t completely lacking in confidence, but who keep getting stuck at the final hurdle. The ones who know what they want but can’t seem to honour it without feeling guilty or selfish.

The book gives you the missing pieces so you can make ‘me-first’ choices without feeling like a dick.

It’s $19, and you can download it instantly here.

When you get it through my site, you also get two bonus guides to amplify the effect of the book: “12 Habits of Mentally Strong People” and “Five Secret Truths About Uncommon Happiness,” plus a surprise extra I’ve tucked into the download.

Get The Art of Self-Respect special bundle here.

Alex