The courage to be disliked

I remember a transformational moment with a cup of coffee in a Tokyo bookshop, looking out over a bustling city.

I was reading what has become one of my favourite ever books: The Courage to be Disliked.

The title alone makes most people uncomfortable. We hate the idea of being disapproved of or disliked.

That's why we put on masks, edit our words, and tiptoe around others to avoid offending.

I did this for years, which is normal for a well-mannered British man.

But I also saw that all this self-editing and playing 'nice' was making me miserable. The book confirmed something I always secretly knew, but suppressed for years:

Other people will inevitably dislike you, and it doesn't matter nearly as much as we think.

It's on them. So who cares, really?

In fact, it's a good sign if they do NOT like everything you do or how you do it, because it means you're expressing your real self.

This is why I get uncomfortable around life philosophies that celebrate censorship and limit self-expression to avoid offending.

When you walk around wearing a mask to be nice, you commit the ultimate crime…

You withhold who you really are from the world.

The world and those closest to you are denied your true, creative energy.

For me, going to my grave having not entirely been myself and expressed this through my work and my art, is not an option.

When I grasped this, my writing turned around after several sluggish years.

I began to write more honestly, from the heart, about what I believed.

Many unsubscribed, some wrote rude comments, but I also noticed more people writing to me and liking my work.

I survived.

And I no longer constantly feel stunted and depressed.

The cool thing is, when you stop trying so hard to be liked, more people actually like you. But you need to be willing to be disliked by some.

That's the doorway to more energy, more success, and more genuine creative output.

If you need help with caring less about what others think of you, you'll like my course:

Let Go of the Sh#it That Weakens You walks you through 15 steps to stop needing everyone's approval.

This course is different because rather than adopting clever tactics you'll forget in a week, we dismantle unhelpful beliefs about you and other people at the ROOT.

This course literally rewires your mind, allowing you to be yourself, with anxiety greatly reduced in a matter of hours or days.

You can access the course at a special Christmas sale price until this Friday 19th, at 5pm ET.

Just $79 (normally $197).

Get it here →

Much love,

Alex