The conversation mistake that blocks connection

I was talking to my friend, but I knew he wasn’t there.

His eyes had glazed over.

I continued talking into the void before he cut me off with an exclamation that had nothing to do with what I’d been saying.

I see this a lot in conversations.

Two people are talking at each other, but neither really listens.

I used to do this constantly and often had people berate me for not listening.

Looking back at my years when I truly sucked at listening, I know why I was like that.

I was insecure.

I was scared of looking bad.

So, I allowed my need to sound good to bulldoze its way past the need to listen.

Many of us do this out of fear. And we don’t realise we’re doing it.

We want to look and sound super cool, intelligent, and witty.

We prioritise sounding clever. But in doing that, we stop listening.

And when we stop listening, we block ourselves from saying what needs to be said.

It’s listening that leads to the deeper connections.

So, if you want more joy in your relationships, set the example.

Let go, and listen.

Like, really listen.

Listen between the lines.

And then reply based on what you heard.

Your friend, partner or family member will notice, and love you more for it.

Most of all, you’ll be more present, and your insecurities will fade.

And that’s where self-respect becomes effortless.

I talk about listening among other subtle habits to develop deep self-respect in my book:

The Art of Self-Respect: Twenty-five subtle habits for cultivating deep self-respect and attracting the respect of others

You can get your copy, and support me as an author here.

Thanks!

Alex