Stop trying to be confident (you already are)

I spent most of my twenties trying to look confident through a kind of forced performance.

And it just made me feel even weirder and more self-conscious.

Many years later, I realised all the confidence you need is already inside you. It needs revealing. Not to be ‘worked on.’

Here are five quick reframes I wish someone had handed me at age 20:

1. Stop trying to be confident. You already ARE. It’s just energy flowing through you, blocked by all that effort.

2. Wake up your inner dragon. There’s a part of you full of fire and life snoozing in the back of your psyche. Coax his little eyes open. Tell him you’re there and ready to roll.

3. Drop the baggage of your past. It’s a fantasy and only strengthened in a memory entertained. The weight lifts the minute you see it for what it is and step out into the real world with pride.

4. Your “personality” is a dumb concept you made up at age 14 because some bellend at school called you a dweeb. There is NO such thing as personality. You can be whoever you need to be.

5. Decide to lift other people up. Picking your nose all day, wondering what others think of you, is a fool’s game. Real strength comes when you stop obsessing about yourself and start instigating happiness in others. It’s weird how my confidence reveals itself instantly when I quit thinking about myself all day.

That’s five reframes off the top of my dome.

There are more like this, with daily actions to take, in my Art of Self Respect book bundle.

Confidence without a foundation of self-respect is a house built on sand.

Get the book to learn the tiny daily habits that help you find the self-respect you always had.

Grab the bundle here.

Peace,

Alex