Why I had to learn to piss people off

For most of my teens and twenties, I was terrified of making anyone uncomfortable.

I'd nod along with opinions I disagreed with. I'd avoid saying anything that might ruffle feathers.

I thought being agreeable would make people like me.

Instead, it made me forgettable (and I wasn't happy).

Over time, I started taking more notice of the people I gravitated towards.

Why did I like them? What was it about them I respected?

I noticed things like:

• They weren't afraid to challenge me.

• They didn't seem to be bothered when others criticised them.

• They'd call me out when I was being lazy with my thinking.

• They'd push back on my ideas in ways that made me think harder.

I started to get it, but I was still behaving vanilla: safe and bland.

The wake-up call came when I realised my writing was suffering from the same disease.

I wanted to make a business out of writing, and yet no one was reading my articles.

I was so afraid of looking bad or 'saying the wrong thing' that my content had zero edge. And no personality.

People don't follow information dispensers - they want a human with a stance.

They follow people who stand for something, who aren't afraid to have an opinion.

They follow those who care enough about others to challenge them toward growth rather than always saying stuff to please others.

And, more than anything, they're willing to assert their views into the world day after day.

This transformed my online presence.

When I started writing with more edge, my influence shifted up a few gears.

My influence grew because I finally had something worth saying, and I was saying it like a real, flawed human.

The same thing happened in my relationships.

When I stopped being a people-pleaser and started being willing to challenge the people I cared about, those relationships got stronger.

It was like turning up the lights.

This is The Challenger Principle in action.

Real friendship and real influence come from caring enough to challenge people.

Not from constant agreement.

Your audience doesn't need another yes-man. They need someone brave enough to tell them what they need to hear, not just what they want to hear.

The Challenger Principle is one of the 9 secrets in The Likeability Code course - along with The Authenticity Paradox and The Lightness Principle we've been exploring.

But this course closes today, Wednesday at 3pm ET.

This is available for a few days every year. It's a special time to get this now.

It's $67 (down from $147).

Get access here before you miss it.

Your message is too important to water down.

Alex

"What a positive impact you are having on my life. I have taken your principles and applied them to my craft. It feels like my life is re-starting again. Thank you Alex." - Erin Gurnell, Business Manager