More freedom for askers

Byron Katie had this quote that I love:

'If you would ask 1000 people, you could have anything you wanted.'

Most people rarely ask, let alone ask many people for things until they get exactly what they want.

Think about it.

For most things, whether it's new clients, a partner, business funding, it's a numbers game.

The more you ask, and the more you're willing to hear the word NO, the luckier and more rewarded you get.

That equates to real freedom.

You just need to be okay with not always getting what you ask for.

But is that a big deal when you have another 1000 options?

Most people want the raise but don't bring it up because they don't want to rock any boats.

People want to connect with someone they're attracted to, but stay quiet.

They want help but suffer in silence.

This is not because they're at a loss for words. It's often because they've convinced themselves that asking for things is somehow 'rude or unnecessary.'

But really, that's just an excuse to avoid the perceived pain of rejection.

And that fear comes from entertaining one pernicious thought:

Other people have the power to lower my self-esteem.

This is an idea drilled into us over years by society, friends, family.

This idea is simply not true, because 'self-esteem' is not a thing.

It's an idea. A thought in your head.

And thoughts do not need to dictate your behaviours or moods.

Finally understanding this helped me a ton.

When you see someone with seemingly more confidence asking for what they want, it's often because they aren't overthinking the interaction.

They aren't weighed down by these kinds of thoughts like I was for years.

They may even feel nervous, but take action anyway.

The freest people are the least attached to their self-limiting thoughts.

This is what asking 1000 people really teaches you.

When you practice this, you'll find yourself less attached to thoughts and more in the moment.

It's here where confidence lives. Where self-criticism has little room to flourish.

You're in action, that's why.

So, if you want more freedom, be the person who's willing to ask.

And if you feel nervous about asking, like most people, remember that it's a numbers game, and that the fear diminishes with practice.

I created The Fearless Program to help you develop social confidence like this.

It's 42 days of quick social drills that will quiet any overthinking and prove you're more capable than you think.

It's done gradually, so you're never overwhelmed. All you get is consistent growth and the confidence that will surprise those around you.

It's a guided course, with videos, taking you by the hand.

There are two days left at the silly price of $39 (normally $97).

Closes Wednesday, November 5th at 6pm ET.

Get The Fearless Program here.

Alex