Losing the old doesn’t need to hurt so much

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Alex Mathers
June 26, 2025

I just moved into the 12th apartment in the last seven months.

And I’m not joking.

I know, it’s ludicrous.

I got into a cycle of testing out new Airbnbs across Eastern Europe and couldn’t stop.

I’m enjoying the freedom and flexibility for the time being before I settle down in the next few years (I’m saving up to buy land).

I realised I had grown attached to the last apartment, which I left this morning.

I miss it.

But isn’t it interesting how my emotional experience today is dictated by an idea of something now past?

Of course, if you know my writing, you’ll know this state of ‘missing something’ is a mind-created phenomenon.

The minute I focus on the things I like about the new place (or simply stop thinking about the old place), the better I feel.

The same technique works for people, places and ideas to which I become attached.

Attachment creates a sense of loss when I no longer have proximity to that thing.

At least, that’s what it feels like...

Because how I think determines my emotional experience.

I think I miss the old thing ⮕ I feel the feeling of missing.

Instead of this, I let go of the incessant need to ruminate on what came before.

I find good reasons to become a believer in the new thing.

Suddenly, the pain from losing the old doesn’t sting so much.

If you’re attached to the idea that the opinion of other people should affect your confidence...

You might be interested in investing in my recent course:

‘Let Go of the S#it that Weakens You.’

Being less attached to what others think, as the course will guide you through 15 exercises, is THE life skill.

The alternative is what I experienced through most of my teens and twenties: too much stress, anxiety, fear, and missed opportunities.

Alex