I used to throw tennis racquets

(What that taught me about influence)

Growing up, I was the young fella who took tennis so seriously that I'd throw my racquet across the court when I lost a big point.

I nearly knocked the head off a squirrel doing this once.

Later in life, I'd become so intense in conversations that my eye would start twitching uncontrollably.

I was that guy who often couldn't laugh at himself.

And it was exhausting for me and everyone around me.

People who can't lighten up push others away.

And they lose respect for themselves.

I learned this the hard way many times.

Watching those who seemed to be liked by everyone showed me:

They always seemed to uplift the mood of those around them.

  • They're playful and a bit cheeky.

  • They don't seem to give so many F's about what others think.

  • They can be relied on for good humour, even in situations where a good mood isn't the immediately obvious remedy.

This may seem obvious, but it's not the default for most people.

But this approach has brought so many good things into my life, I don't know where to start.

Being appropriately light-hearted is the missing ingredient, not just in being more liked, but in having a positive influence on others.

And in a noisy world, those with influence hold the power.

When you can keep the vibe light, people trust your judgment more. They want to follow your lead. I've seen the best leaders do this.

They're drawn to you because you help them feel better.

Whether through your presence, your writing, or what you bring into the world.

Think about the leaders and creators you most admire.

I bet they can be serious about their mission while staying light about themselves and life's inevitable chaos.

They don't take everything as a personal attack.

They can laugh when things don't go to plan.

I call this skill: The Lightness Principle.

When I finally learned this, a lot improved for me.

My writing became more engaging.

People sought out my perspective.

My influence grew to hundreds of thousands because people enjoyed being around my energy.

The Lightness Principle is one of the 9 secrets I teach in The Likeability Code course.

When you understand what genuinely draws people to you, your message reaches further and your impact grows.

But this course closes tomorrow, Wednesday at 3pm ET.

Right now it's $67 (down from $147).

Life's too important to be taken so seriously.

Alex

"What a positive impact you are having on my life. I have taken your principles and applied them to my craft. It feels like my life is re-starting again. Thank you Alex." - Erin Gurnell, Business Manager