I said yes, painfully, when I meant no

At university in London, I had friends who’d go to someone’s house a few times a week to smoke weed and hang out.

I hated it.

But I always said yes to going because I didn’t want to look antisocial.

I’d go, and be anxious before, during, and after these gatherings. I’d feel crap with the hangover the following day because I’d needed to drink to calm myself down.

Saying yes to things that slowly chip away at you is a form of self-denial.

It’s a slow leak of your life power, drip by drip, that turns you into someone you no longer recognise.

Now, this doesn’t mean saying no to every little thing that scares you. Often, the scary stuff is absolutely needed. It’s the missing ingredient if you grow through it. Yes.

But there’s a difference between discomfort that builds you, and situations that turn you into a zombie just because you don’t want to be thought of negatively by people you don’t even give a fock about.

Life is far too bloody short for that.

Since then, I’ve become better (and much less tolerant of BS) at discerning between what’s good for me and what just serves as a diversion away from what I MOST need to do with my life.

Learning to say no to the crap, even if it meant disappointing some people along the way, changed my life in notable ways.

Saying no to bulls#it that doesn’t serve you anymore is a sign of self-respect.

Saying no is a habit that reflects a positive self-identity.

This is exactly what my book, The Art of Self-Respect, is about.

The book reveals 25 habits that help you uncover the self-respect you already have, but that you might keep burying under people-pleasing and self-denial.

If there’s an old way you’re still clinging to, but you know you’re capable of more joy, more natural confidence, this book is for you.

Today, I’m releasing it in a special bundle with three bonuses on developing a calm mind that I don’t offer anywhere else. (woohoo!)

PLUS, until this Wednesday, 3pm ET only, you also get free access to my course, The Likeability Code (usually $147) - 9 principles for becoming someone people are naturally drawn to (without chasing validation). After Wednesday, access to that course bonus is gone.

Get The Art of Self-Respect bundle here.

Alex