I lost a friend because of bedtime

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Author

Alex Mathers
February 23, 2026

A friend of mine wanted to hang out at times that were eating into my sacred wind-down time in the evening.

I’m protective of my sleep because I’m over forty and I know what happens when I’m not, and it’s nothing good.

So I told them: Sorry, but my cut-off is this time. After that, I’m offline.

They took it personally and didn’t speak to me for a week.

That was uncomfortable for a while.

There was a part of my brain that would scream at me to just apologise and make the tension please go away.

Most people cave at this point, because confrontation feels icky.

They let someone else’s preferences override their own needs, and then they wonder why they’re permanently drained, resentful and walking around disgusted at themselves.

I didn’t bend. Heck no.

I’d spent years bending, and I knew where that road goes.

My friend came back after a week. Nicer, actually. Because people respect boundaries even when they don’t like them at first. The good ones come around. The ones who don’t were never on your team anyway.

Every time you cave on a boundary, you’re voting in favour of your energy being less important than it really is. And it is vital.

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Peace,

Alex