I care about what others think

I overheard a conversation on a bus recently that made me sigh to myself.

Two guys were talking. One was clearly stressed about something at work.

One said to the other:

'You just need to stop caring so much about what others think.'

I can't help but feel that when people share this advice, they don't really know what they mean.

I've shared this, and even I didn't really get it.

…Because we all care. Even Geoff the psychopath with the scary grin.

We all care, and we should care.

It's what makes us human. We don't want to be banished from the tribe, and we want to get along.

Caring is basic human connection. It's empathy. It's how we build relationships and create things that matter.

I care about what my readers think, a lot, for example. I want my writing to tickle you and be useful.

BUT.

There is a crucial distinction.

There's a massive difference between caring about what others think and overthinking about what others think.

Caring means you're thoughtful.

Overthinking means spiralling.

You replay conversations for hours. You imagine worst-case scenarios about what others might be thinking.

Thoughts like these begin to affect you noticeably.

Caring is healthy. Overthinking is torture.

Overthinking turns you into a shell of yourself.

When gurus tell you to 'stop caring what people think,' I believe they make the problem bigger.

You can't just stop caring. You're a freaking human bean. So you try, you fail, you still care, and now you shame yourself for caring too much when you do.

Which makes you even more self-conscious.

The advice amplifies the problem it's supposed to solve.

As a writer, I care about what resonates.

But I don't let that pressure lead to boring writing.

I still lean into my edges and say things that often feel precarious.

I'm able to do this because I've worked through false beliefs about social rejection.

If I overthought what my readers might think, I'd end up writing bland content that helps nobody.

No, scratch that.

I'd rarely write at all.

Today I barely overthink. This isn't because I stopped caring. Because, by golly, I sure care.

I care about many things, especially about all the people in my life.

But I've developed what I consider to be the habit to end all habits

I've developed the skill of jumping off the overthinking train when I realise I am on it.

This has helped me a ton, but it has been made far easier because I've also worked on addressing my false beliefs.

These core beliefs are driving the overthinking, making it far harder to jump off.

Beliefs like 'rejection diminishes my worth' or 'I need everyone's approval' fuel the spiral.

When these beliefs collapse, the overthinking stops naturally.

The trigger is gone.

That's what Let Go of the S#it That Weakens You does. It walks you through identifying and dismantling the beliefs about yourself in the context of others that drive overthinking and poor mental wellbeing.

By the end, you will sense a new you has emerged. You realise your depth of confidence.

You become more your own person.

The autumn sale for this course closes tomorrow, Sunday 12th, 4pm ET.

It's still $79 instead of the usual $197. This price won't return until 2026.

If you've been thinking about it, now's the time.

Get instant access here.

Much love,

Alex