Confident people made me close up

I wasn't a people-pleaser in the traditional sense.

I didn't say yes when I wanted to say no.

I didn't bend over backwards to make everyone happy.

But I did get anxious around people I considered more confident than I was.

I froze and became a wallflower, unable to really express myself.

It impacted work meetings, relationships and I have many regrets around my rather stunted social life at University.

I was fine around other shy people.

But I’d be in my head to the point of paralysis when I felt I needed to perform for the ‘cool’ or ‘important’ people.

It was exhausting because I couldn’t simply avoid people.

I’d turn down invitations and miss opportunities because the thought of feeling awkward around certain people was unbearable.

It took me a few years to see that the root of this was actually one false belief I didn't even know I was carrying:

“I need others to approve of me to feel good about myself.”

And put in a different way:

"I'm not enough around people who have their shit together."

Unknowingly, this belief was running in the background of every interaction.

When I finally identified this belief and challenged it through specific exercises, I was surprised by how affected I’d been in those prior years.

It seemed almost comical that I’d get so worked up about other people.

I wasn’t perfectly relaxed all the time, but I just wasn’t as bothered as before. I felt more at peace and more willing to say bolder things.

It was nice.

These useless false beliefs are invisible to you until you actively look for them.

You think it's just who you are. You think everyone feels this way.

But it's not you. It's a story you've been telling yourself that you can delete.

Freedom isn’t as far away as you think.

If you need closer help, my course 'Let Go of the S#it That Weakens You' walks you through the process of identifying and challenging these false beliefs.

It covers the core beliefs that create anxiety, people-pleasing, self-criticism, and that exhausting need to perform or hide around certain people.

Each step includes exercises that help you challenge these beliefs and replace them with clear thinking.

When you do this work, the relief is immediate.

I’m making this course available for $57 (usually $197) for today only to celebrate the trees turning orange :).

This closes at 4pm ET. After today, it's unavailable at this price until 2026.

Get instant access here.

Alex